The Tale of Barney and Melinda
by Obani
Summary: After the world is taken over by androids, Barney and Melinda meet in unusual circumstances. Can their misfit group of refugees save humanity? Also involving Heroes, Dr. Horrible, The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist and gLee. Interesting shippings abound! (DEAD FIC)
1. Prologue

Barney stared at the featureless gray ceiling with an almost obsessive intensity. It was the only thing he could do to distract himself from the thoughts that haunted him. He couldn't sleep, but he certainly couldn't leave his room. So he just stared, hoping that sleep would come before his mind started to wander.

But, as they always did, those memories came rushing back to him. They were not sad memories. In fact, it was the sweeter recollections that pained him most. The better times, the days he could never retrieve, always reminded him of what he missed.

Sometimes it was the little things, like his suits. Oh, how he missed his suits. Barney had only the same gray tunic, white belt, gray boots and white tights that the facilitators recommended that all humans wear. He also missed his hair, or anyone's hair for that matter. A shaven head was also recommended, for both men and women. And, of course, you always did what the facilitators recommended, always.

Then the little things reminded him of the big things he missed, the people. Everyone he knew had been separated from him, and from each other, so that they could have a fresh start on their new life. But Barney wanted his old life back. He wished he were back at McLarren's with Ted, Lily, Marshall and Robin.

Oh, God! Now he was thinking about Robin. It was always memories of Robin which hurt the most. He missed her. He missed her beautiful, long brown hair. It was probably shaven off now. He missed her big blue eyes, and the way those eyes sparkled when she laughed her clear, musical laugh. It was hard for him to imagine that, somewhere, those same bold eyes were cast downward in submission, or that in the laugh that once rang out so beautifully was now muted by fear. There were no cigars or guns for Robin now.

But all his memories could not bring her back to him. She was still so far away, and he may never see her again. In all probability he would never see her again. He'd known Robin for four years, but he had wasted the time they had together, and now he could never tell her...

Barney had to wipe something out of his eye. Suddenly, he felt very tired, as though life had just become too exhausting for him to bear. His only escape was sleep, which he fell into thankfully, and dreamt about a life he could have had.

Author notes:

SQUEE! Epic squee, my friends. This is a fanfic I started several months hence (hence?) and have now resurrected it because, frankly, I'm in love with this idea and want to do crazy things to the charrys from my favorite shows. I think you will like it, and I'm always open to suggestions!


	2. Part One

Life had never been easy for Melinda. It seemed like there was always something bad happening just when things were starting to go right. That was how it was now. She and Jim were about to start a new life together, with a new baby on the way, when everything changed.

It all began with an SOS. One day, earlier that year, some Japanese official sent a transmission to Australia that said, simply, 'They're coming'.

After that, nothing came out of Japan. No exports, no calls or emails. Nothing. A plane had been sent to scout the country, to find out what happened. But that plane never returned. The only message its pilot could send was a single picture. A photo of several hundred large, white buildings, connected to each other via a series of gray tubes. This network was stretched out across the entire island of Japan.

Within a week, the rest of Asia had gone silent as well, and panic started to grip the rest of the world. But that panic would not last long. It only took another week for Europe and Africa to fall. By this time, satellites were able to see hundreds of thousands of white buildings speckled across the globe, It was clear that the Americas were the only two continents left.

Until a gray tube appeared in Argentina.

Of course, America was not sitting idly by as this happened. Legions of soldiers had been sent all over to try and stop whatever was happening, but the armies disappeared. Soon enough, people lost hope. Depending on who you were, you either went crazy in your panic, or stopped caring at all. Jim freaked. He couldn't handle the fear of the end drawing closer every second. For Melinda, however, all her anxiety dissolved. She went numb. The two of them tried to be strong, for one another and for their unborn baby, but all the strength in the world could not fight off the inevitable. One morning, when Melinda woke up, she saw the white dome outside her window. She knew the end had come.

Around five months later, Melinda found herself sitting inside one of those ominous white buildings with no idea where she was. No one was allowed outside, so she could be anywhere. Hawaii, Siberia. They were all connected by the gray tubes. She had no idea where Jim was, and she needed him. She must have been at least 25 weeks into her pregnancy, and she didn't want her baby to grow up without a father.

If it wasn't so sad, it would have been silly, all this worrying. Melinda had always feared that her child would inherit her ability, and her curse. But seeing ghosts and living without a father were cake compared to what was happening now. A life in the compound was a life where your every word and action were scrutinized by hidden cameras, a life where your friends could disappear without warning. In short, a life run by androids.

'Facilitators' Melinda reminded herself. It was rude to call the Facilitators 'androids', 'robots' or anything else like that. If you said an unkind word to the Facilitators, it just might be the last word you ever spoke.

A bell rang, and Melinda knew it was time for her to stop thinking and start her day. She stepped into her shower and shivered as cold water hit her face. The Facilitators believed that a cold shower was more 'stimulating', and the was no changing their minds.

After she had dried herself off with a gray towel, Melinda pulled open her closet. 'What to wear?' She thought bitterly to herself as she looked over her identical tunics. Her face betrayed no emotion, and she thanked God that the Facilitators couldn't read her mind... yet.

She pulled on a tunic and sighed as she caught sight of the large, black serial number stamped across it. The dark numeral served as a constant reminder that she was no longer Melinda Gordon, but GR1056.

Stepping into her gray slippers, GR1056 stepped out of her room, and almost walked straight into a facilitator standing outside her door.

* * *

A few hallways down, Barney was experiencing something similar. Unusually, there was a fembot standing directly outside his room.

"Good Morning Facilitator." Barney greeted habitually, though what he really meant was; 'burn in hell, steely bitch'.

It gave him an artificial smile, and with perfect human inflection said, "Good Morning DZ2607." It really creeped him out how human the fembots could act. From their appearance to their voice patterns, these things mimicked his species perfectly.

Even so, you could always tell a bot from a human instantly. For starters, they had hair, fake though it was, and wore white jumpsuits as opposed to the humans' gray tunics. Possibly the most obvious was the fact that each and every robot looked exactly the same, as though someone had copied and pasted thousands of copies of the same, beautiful woman.

"We have an assignment for you." The fembot stated bluntly.

"Really, for me?" Barney chirped with mock enthusiasm. Luckily for him, the robots didn't understand sarcasm.

"Yes. Please follow." It ordered, and Barney did as he was told. The fembot began to explain his assignment to him, "For a human child to develop into a healthy, emotionally functioning adult, it is integral for them to have a functional family. This should always include a father."

Barney had to stop himself from saying 'not necessarily'. After all, hadn't he himself grown up without a dad? As far as Barney was concerned, he was a very functional individual.

"Wow, gee whiz!" Barney exclaimed mockingly, then he dropped the act and got to the point, "Do you mind telling me where you're going with this?"

"I have orders to take you to apartment D2002C679." It replied, obviously misunderstanding the question.

Barney gaped for a few seconds before hissing, 'Thanks' with disrespectful insincerity. Barney considered himself to be bolder than most around the fembots. Maybe, subconsciously, he was trying to get himself killed, or perhaps he was simply too stupid to keep his mouth shut. In any case, he was never punished, the facilitators mistaking his cheekiness for innocent curiosity.

However, Barney suddenly realized something, "Wait a second, did you say 'D'2002?" He asked, this time genuinely curious.

"Yes."

Now That was odd. You see, the room Barney lived in had a single bed, a small bathroom and a closet for his dozen identical tunics. It was designed for one person, and had an 'R' in front of it's number. Apartments that had 'D' before their number had two rooms, one for children, and another for mom and dad. Why would the fembots send Barney Stinson to a room designed for a family?

The fembot led him around a corner, and Barney found himself face to face with a very shocked, very pregnant woman. He noticed that she was standing in front of D2002, but Barney was still at a loss as to why.

the fembot, with a typical lack of delicateness, made introductions, "This is GR1056. She is pregnant." As usual, the bot liked to point out the obvious, "The biological father of the child has been relocated to a different compound. A replacement parent is needed. Our breeding charts have determined that the two of you are suitable to become Life Breeding Partners."

"Life... Breeding Partners?" Barney moaned, shaking a little. The fembot had basically just pronounced them husband and wife, and he got to play daddy to the little poop-machine she would soon produce.

"You are confused, do you wish for me to repeat any instructions?" The fembot offered. Barney tried to reply, but the words stuck in his throat, and he just stuttered. Were his eyes twitching?

"No thank you," GR1056 refused politely.

"Good." The fembot said, "You have been given the first cycle off of work in order to adjust to your new situation. Your clothes will be delivered to your new residence." It flashed them a very fake and unappreciated smile, "We hope you two will be very happy together.

Barney forced himself not to faint as the fembot walked away. Happy together? Monogamy did not make anybody happy, unless you were lame like Marshal and Lily.

Pushing thoughts of his old friends out of his head, Barney waited for his new... 'wife', to open the door to... 'their' new room. She slid her thumb over the scanner and the door opened up with a hiss.

GR1056 looked over to him, an apologetic and remorseful look on her face. Their eyes met for one second, silently sharing the common idea that this sucked, before she walked through the doorway. Barney followed, knowing that he had to.


	3. Part Two

As he stared at GR1056, and she at him, Barney realized that this was the single most awkward moment in his life. For a few moments, the two of them just stood there, taking each other in, trying to get used to the idea that they were... married.

The first thing Barney noticed about his new wife was that she was, well, stunning. Even with her hair shaven off, she was by far one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen, and he had seen a LOT of women.

This train of thought reminded Barney that he hadn't had sex since the world ended. There was no opportunity to sleep with anyone other than your 'Life Breeding Partner'. If you didn't have such a partner, you were just out of luck.

Finally, GR1056 broke the silence, "Um, hi?" She scrunched up her face in an expression that was 25% upset, 75% amused and 100% hotness. This might work out for Barney after all.

The girl continued with an adorable smile, "I'm Ger." She put out her hand to shake. A little too platonic for Barney's liking.

Barney returned the shake, "Name's Dizz." The Facilitator's allowed for the use of nicknames, but real names were strictly forbidden, "So, what do you, ah, do... for, um, work?" God, this was going to be the longest cycle ever.

"I don't," Ger explained, indicating her massive baby bump, "I have parenting classes."

Barney smirked at her, "That sound like a blast." He remarked sarcastically.

"Oh, yes, fun." Ger replied with equal sarcasm, "What about you, what do you do?"

"Laundry duty." He said, trying desperately to hide the look of disgust on his face, "They should call it Legendary duty, 'cause it is just awesome." Barney winced as he used his catchphrases in such a blasphemous way.

Ger covered up her smile with a fake sneeze. They had to at least pretend to like their new life, or else. The Facilitators could see and hear anything that went on in any room at any time. They didn't abide by dissent, and their punishments were always strict and permanent.

"What don't you miss?" The question, not the words but the true meaning behind them, hung in the air for a few seconds. I didn't really matter who asked, because it was what everyone always thought about. What did you miss?

Ger was the first to answer, "My husband." She said, her voice wavering a little, "I don't miss him at all. He was never patient or understanding..." Unable to hold back, she tried to hide her tears by resting her head on Barney's shoulder.

Damn. Ger had a husband, and she was obviously very much in love with him. Most of those married types were unlikely to ever let go or move on, they always still had this idea that someday they would be reunited with their long lost spouse.

"What about you?" Ger asked, "What don't you miss the most?"

The answer was instant in Barney's mind: Robin. He couldn't say her name, and it wasn't just because it was against the rules.

"There was a girl." He conceded after a short pause.

"Were you together?"

"No, it's... complicated."

"Well, I'm here to listen." Ger said comfortingly.

Barney sighed, "I can't..." He nodded towards a spot on the wall where he imagined a camera or microphone might be hidden. They were pushing their luck talking like this.

Ger, tired from holding up the weight of her giant abdomen tumor, sat down on the double bed and then looked at it uneasily.

"I don't... I'm not ready..."

Barney gave her a look, "Oh, no, no." He said sincerely, "You don't have to..." He winced, it was awkward again.

Ger looked up at him with sad, pretty eyes, and muttered "Thank you."

Barney sat down next to her. He was a little tempted, no, he was VERY tempted to make a move. There were a few playbook articles he had stored in his brain, just in case. He could even go for a one in three chance using 'The Naked Man'.

But Ger gave him a look of complete and utter trust, and for once in his life Barney didn't want to take advantage of that. The two of them were in this together now.

* * *

The large, bleach-clean cafeteria in the compound was one of the more miserable places. Everywhere you looked were bald heads and gray and white and conformity. There wasn't a glimpse of color to be found, not even in the food.

Not that you could call it food. The tasteless, odorless, white cube the humans ate was all but unbearable. Melinda would have preferred if the powdery square tasted bad, at least then it would have had substance. Flavor was another thing the androids had taken away.

Melinda sat next to Dizz now. She had only met him that morning, but out of all the people in the world she knew she could have done worse, a lot worse. Dizz was funny, he didn't pressure her, though she could tell he wanted to. Melinda saw them becoming good friends.

Still, they sat in silence until, suddenly, a couple sat down in front of them. The man, ZQ8467, seemed to be dragging his wife, BB0001, towards them, she with a look of wary amusement on her face, he with an intolerably smug smile. He sat down in front of them, and announced "Hey!"

The woman smiled also, "Hi." was all she managed to say before her husband continued.

"I'm Zaq, this is Boo. You are..." Zaq pointed to Dizz, who stuttered, "Ba-...Dizz."

Zaq moved on, pointing to Melinda, who replied with a stunned, "Ger."

"You we're recently paired, I heard." Zaq said, smiling with cocky playfulness.

Melinda and Dizz were a little surprised. Gaping, they shot each other a look.

"Yeah..." Melinda said cautiously, and Zaq started to talk again.

"I remember when Boo and I first got paired. The first day I accidentally went home to my old room. Very bad misunderstanding... I got slammed against a wall..." His voice trailed off thoughtfully, then he brightened up, "How funny would that be if it happened to you, eh Dizz?"

Dizz looked a little taken aback. Obviously he didn't find it as funny.

"It usually happens during break." He mused. In all this time, Boo had not said a thing. Granted, neither Melinda nor Dizz had said more than three words. Zaq was chatty.

"Well!" He announced, standing up, "It was lovely meeting you..." He shook Dizz's hand, "And you." He held one of Melinda's hands in both of his. Her eyes widened, and she looked up at Zaq's face, but his expression did not betray the fact that he had just slipped a scrap of paper into her palm.

Boo watched him leave, a look of terror and concern in her eyes, "I'm sorry." She said, "About Zaq... He can be a little cryptic. Sometimes he gets ahead of himself." Her eyes rested on Melinda, "You don't have to listen to him. It's all up to you."

With that, she stood and followed her husband out. Dizz gave Melinda a look.

"What just happened?" He asked slowly. Melinda shook her head.

"We can talk about it later." She replied, and went back to choking down her lunch.

* * *

The end of the day came, as it always did, slowly. When the cycles had finished and the fembots started ushering everyone to bed, Barney walked home with Ger.

"Hold my hand." She said, "And don't let go."

At first, Barney thought this might be some kind of invitation. However, when he slipped his palm into his new wife's delicate fingers, he felt the piece of paper hidden there. His heart skipped a beat. They could get killed for passing secret notes.

Back in their apartment, Barney waited with baited breath as Ger read over the note. The two of them sat on the end of their bed, huddled over each other so the note was obscured. This was so very, very risky. Why had Zaq picked them of all people to slip secret notes?

Shaking, Ger handed him the note. Barney couldn't believe what he was reading. In neat, small print was written:

GR spend break with Boo, DZ mistake apartment. Do it tomorrow. We can escape. (eat this note)

Barney tried to process that. Escape. It was the one thing that really got your attention. He barely noticed when Ger pulled away from him.

"I was thinking," She said, "I want to spend my break with Boo tomorrow. What do you think?"

Barney swallowed. If they tried to escape, they could die. But if they didn't try to escape, they would live, here, for the rest of their lives. It was an easy decision.

"Go for it."

* * *

Author Notes:

Yeah, there's been some whining and crying in this fic, and there's going to be more of that to come... but there wil be action! Freeze-Ray, whoopass, scalping-style action!


	4. Part Three

Tonight, Barney had a choice. He could stare at the featureless gray ceiling, trying futilely to forget about a certain girl, or... or... he could watch Ger sleep. Call it creepy if you want, but they had taken away aesthetics. There wasn't much to look at but people.

The two had come to the decision that, because they would have to share a bed, it would be best to roll up a blanket and place it between them. Barney had the sneaking suspicion that Ger was afraid to wake up and find herself cuddling with him. That was something neither of them wanted.

But if he pushed the makeshift barrier down ever so slightly, he could see her. It was actually kind of nice. Barney had slept in the same bed as a woman he wasn't having sex with since... well, he didn't want to think about Lily. He was trying to forget.

The thing he couldn't forget was the one word ringing in his ears. The sense of unbelievable hope that had come to him that evening did not fade, and he knew it would not. Tomorrow he and Ger were going to escape. It was awesome.

* * *

Breakfast was a white, grainy liquid. It too was painfully bland, but Melinda barely noticed. She and Dizz kept giving each other wary but excited looks, the anticipation was causing them both so much anxiety. To anyone not in on the plan, the pair would have seemed completely nuts.

But there were two people who were in on it. Zaq and Boo approached them much as they had yesterday, unannounced and unexpected. This time, however, their presence was met with total glee.

"Hello again." Boo spoke this time.

"Hey." Melinda fought to keep her excitement from showing, but a bright smile pushed it's way onto her face all the same.

"Soo..." Dizz began, obviously trying to stay calm. He leaned back a little in his seat and swirled the remainder of his water around in his cup, watching it for a second before flicking his eyes to Zaq and Boo, "Soo..." Poor thing had no idea what to say.

"I was thinking," Melinda began, giving Dizz a strange look, "Maybe we should all get together some time."

"Hang out." Dizz agreed.

Boo seemed to smile knowingly at them, and Zaq replied, "Well, maybe Ger and Boo can, but I will have to respectfully decline." he winked at them, "And Dizz probably doesn't want to spend his break with a bunch of girls."

Dizz made a face at Zaq, as though what he had just said couldn't be further from the truth, but he nodded, "You're right." He shrugged, "I guess I'm just going to have to sit in my room all break."

With a twinkle in his eye, Zaq replied, "Just make sure it's the right one."

* * *

Barney was distracted all day. Often, he found himself washing the same pair of tights over and over again. sometimes, he forgot to use soap, other times, he forgot to rinse the soap out.

Everything in the compound was hand-washed. Barney knew the trick, the North Koreans had bragged about it one time when he had managed to get them very drunk. But that was just for work. Everyone has to work hard, if people are working, they aren't plotting rebellions. So the Koreans said. They were wrong.

An Overseer walked over to him, "DZ2607," it asked, "The quality of your work registers as Extremely Unsatisfactory. Explain."

Barney stuttered. Crap! He couldn't die, not now, not when escape was at his fingertips! "I'm just a little nervous about Ger, ah, GR1056... My Partner." He winced, and added, "We're having a baby." For good measure.

The Overseer registered this response for a few seconds, "This excuse is satisfactory. Work better or you will be removed." It replied. Barney sighed a breath of relief. That had been close.

Concentrating a little harder on his job, Barney impatiently waited for break. There were no clocks anywhere to be found, and Barney's internal timer was running fast, just like his heartbeat.

After what must have been days, a bell rang, and the cycle was over. Barney's heart leapt, and the rest of his body followed soon after. The Overseer gave him a look, and he forced himself to stay calm, act natural. Absently, he adjusted a tie that wasn't there, and strolled out, calmly. Very calmly.

The hallway that housed Barney's old rooms was much like the other hallways in the compound. It was nothing more than a long, squarish tube. The ceiling and walls were white, the doors and floor were gray. Ugh, when he escaped, Barney would never look at white or gray the same way again.

Still, this hallway was different from most. There was a door at the end of the hall, with heavy duty locks and a numeric keypad. Two fembots stood, like guards, at either side of it. Barney seriously wondered what they could possibly be keeping in there. He shook his head and smirked wryly. Whatever it was, it meant absolutely zero to him right now.

He took a deep breath, and quickly skimmed his thumb over the scanner from his old room. As soon as his skin made contact with the mechanism, he heard footsteps. A split second later, his face was getting slammed into a wall by the strongest thing that had ever hit him, not including the bus, obviously.

"DZ2607!" it said urgently, making Barney's heart start to pound, "You have been caught attempting to break into a room. You will explain yourself or you will be removed."

Barney's eyes scanned the hallway briefly, and he noticed that the guards were missing from the door. Clearly, they were the ones who were now attacking him. Zaq had apparently been waiting for this opportunity, because the man was now typing numbers into the keypad. Barney realized that his role in this plot was nothing more than bait. He was a distraction.

And a damn fine distraction he would be! "You're hurting my face." He moaned, and the fembot who was holding him eased up a little, giving him a chance to speak.

"All I did was try to open the wrong door by mistake." Barney began, not daring to sneak a glance at Zaq, "You see, I've just recently been paired, and this used to be where I lived."

Both fembots paused, processing the excuse.

"Records show." They answered in creepy unison, "That you have had no difficulty finding you room in the past. No confusion was detected, this will be considered an act of civil disobedience. You are no longer viable. You will be removed."

Barney felt like his heart had just stopped. Removal was in no way on his agenda. Every inch of his body pulsing from a rush of adrenaline, he thrashed uselessly in the robot's cold grip. Distantly, he felt a scream escape his lungs. Unless Zaq's plan was completely and utterly amazing, Barney was going to die.

Just then, there was a small beeping sound. A rush of air and a sliding, scraping noise followed soon after. Zaq had opened the door, and whatever was hidden in there had come out. The fembot's quickly turned their heads to see what had happened. Too late, as they did so, one of the bot's heads exploded in a mess of rubber, sparks and machinery.

And, without meaning to, Barney screamed again.

* * *

Author notes:

hehe, we're going to find out the identities of Boo and Zaq soon, as well as learning what the hell just happened

I know you are all on the edge of your seat!

oh, and Special Hugs to Kyuubikitsune9 for story alerting me and for commenting on EVERY CHAPTER THUS FAR! (omg, amazing!)


	5. Part Four

"So, what do we do now?" Melinda asked Boo after a few seconds of chit-chat.

Boo bit her bottom lip, "Zaq said he wanted to meet up with us at some big door a few halls down." She looked down the hall warily, and then shrugged and smiled. Melinda was struck by the realization that Boo was very young, probably only half as old as Zaq.

Melinda had to ask, "Do you trust him?"

"With my life." Boo replied, and she would have to if they were really going to do this. Melinda, however, was uncertain, and her hands fluttered over her baby.

Boo obviously noticed, "Oh, don't worry! Zaq told me that the baby will be fine." She said, "No matter what."

"What if he's wrong?" Melinda mumbled uncertainly as she began following Boo down a hallway.

Boo laughed nonchalantly, "Oh, sweetie, he's never wrong." Melinda felt a little more at ease now, but still she worried that she was risking her baby's safety. Then again, if she could escape, her child would be free, and that was the best thing she could offer the baby at this point.

Out of nowhere, Melinda heard a young girl scream.

"What the hell was-" Boo began, but the same little kid screamed again, cutting her off.

The two looked at each other and started moving as fast as they could towards Zaq and Dizz.

* * *

Barney watched in horror as the fembot's head exploded. He couldn't even process what had happened before the other one was throw against a wall by some invisible force. It writhed, but couldn't seem to break free from it's intangible bonds.

Barney was frozen by something more identifiable; fear. His legs simply would not move the way he wanted them to, instead they shook like wet noodles. He managed to jerk his head around to see Zaq, who was standing next to another man, who's tunic said, in bold, red letters, 'Dangerous'. He lived up to his name. Zaq motioned for Barney to get out of the other man's way, and Barney ran over as fast as he could.

Partially hiding himself behind Zaq, Barney watched. He was utterly dumbfounded as the Dangerous man, simply by pointing, lifted the robot and, drawing a line in the air with his finger, sawed the top of it's head off. This was insanity! Barney wondered for a second if he had died and was having some kind of nonsensical afterlife.

Then he heard footsteps, and turned to see Ger and Boo quickly making their way over to him. They stopped right in the middle of the action.

"What the hell is-" Boo began, but by now more robots were closing in, prepared to remove every one of them.

Dangerous glowered at these new opponents as he swung his hand back and forth, telekinetically destroying them one by one. "I am going to tear every one of you apart!" He growled at the ever growing throng of fembots.

Zaq pulled on Dangerous's shoulder, "You can do that later, we have to leave!" The man did not respond, so Zaq added, "Now!"

"If you don't help us we'll all die," Ger stated, choking up. While Barney shifted a little closer to her, Dangerous turned to look at the both of them.

"I fail to see how that's my problem." He replied, and went back to killing Facilitators.

Boo narrowed her eyes and set her jaw, "Okay, look. You are going to get us out of here right now, got it? Zaq and Dizz went to a lot of trouble to get you out of that cell!"

"Well," Dangerous sneered sarcastically, "I appreciate it." He proceeded to ignore her.

"Please" Ger said, tears running freely. It made Barney's heart break to see her like this. Dangerous looked back at her, then at her baby, and his expression softened ever so slightly.

He turned back to the fembots, rolled back his shoulders and cracked his neck. Then, as if by magic, lightning shot out of his body, short-circuiting many of the bots. Barney gaped and stuttered for a few seconds, but Dangerous had already moved on. He went back into his cell, everyone else following close behind, closed his eyes and focused.

And, right before Barney's very eyes, the wall disintegrated into dust. Dangerous stepped through, out into the air and the outside world. No one else moved and inch, Dangerous turned to them and glared.

"You practically beg me to do this," He said mockingly, "And then you don't even come out? Typical."

The fembots were closing in from behind, and freedom was out in front. Barney couldn't get out of that place fast enough, and neither could anyone else.


	6. Part Five

Melinda barely knew what was happening as she left that horrible Compound. The air of the outside world hit her face, and she felt tears of joy form in her eyes at the familiar scent. It didn't smell like bleach or plastic, it was real. This was the way people would have it.

She knew it couldn't last, though. Her heart sank as she realized that, though they had made it out, the androids were right behind them. She had been so focused on actually escaping, she hadn't thought of what would happen when they got out. Looking at Zaq, she realized that his plan was very imperfect, and he knew it too.

The man with 'Dangerous' written on his tunic was not so discouraged. His lips twitched into a sadistic smile and he pointed to the compound. Boo looked at him with wide eyes, and Melinda imagined her expression was similar. This man had some kind of gift, not unlike Melinda herself, and he was going to use it.

With an explosive bang, a large wall of the compound blew itself apart. It looked as though a lightning storm was happening inside the building. Melinda swiveled to face the 'Dangerous' man, who looked a little worn out.

"That should give you enough time to get away." He panted, though it was obvious the man didn't want to let his fatigue show.

"Sounds good." Dizz replied, and grabbed Melinda by the hand, pulling her away. Zaq was also on his way as quickly as possible. He had been giving the dangerous man a strange look this entire time, and Melinda sensed a deep distrust from Zaq.

"Thank you," Melinda told the man politely, though she really felt no affection for him. There was obviously a reason the androids had called him 'Dangerous'. She followed Dizz as quickly as she could.

"Well, why don't you come with us."

Melinda turned to see Boo looking the dangerous man in the face, smiling invitingly.

"I mean, we could use some of that Superman action you've got going on," Boo continued, "And you don't want to get left all alone, do you? I mean, if you do..."

"Well, whatever you do," Zaq said irately, "Please, could you do it quickly?"

The dangerous man stared at Boo as she begrudgingly followed Zaq, a look of shock on his face. Dizz, however, didn't have time for this.

"Ger, do you remember the robots?" He asked, panic making his voice higher, "Because we need to go, now, or they are going to come and kill us. I'm too pretty to die! And so are you, so let's go!"

Melinda looked Dizz in the face, wanting to reassure him that they would be okay, but the look on his face told her that she should be concerned. Suddenly, she felt herself being lifted off her feet, and looking up she saw the dangerous man holing her in his arms.

"I'll take the pregnant one like this so she doesn't have to walk," He explained, and looked Boo square in the eye, "Then I'm leaving."

"Uh..." Melinda began to protest, but before she could react she felt the man carrying her lift off of the ground.

He was flying!

* * *

He was flying now?

Barney watched Dangerous hover off the ground and onto the roof of a building. There was something unnatural about that guy, and Barney didn't trust him at all.

"Okay, have we all watched him fly off? Isn't it amazing?" Zaq asked sarcastically, "Now, if you don't mind..." He indicated that they should all get going, then started to walk away.

"Weren't you surprised?" Boo asked as she and Barney followed Zaq, "He just started flying! That's... it's..."

"You just saw him blow up part of a building by pointing at it." Was the incredulous, and somewhat haughty, reply, "Clearly there is something very unbelievable going on with our dangerous friend. Thank you for inviting him to be our 'buddy', by the way. That was a well thought out move."

"Ouch! Burn." Barney smirked as the little troupe ducked into an alleyway. Boo glowered.

"Oh, I'm the one without well thought out plans? What was the logic behind your insane escape, really? If it wasn't for him," She indicated a large spot in the sky, the distant silouette of Dangerous and Ger, "You're half-assed plan would have gotten us all killed."

Barney's smile fell, "Hey, yeah! I almost died back there. What were you even thinking?"

"I can't explain now."

"And why not?" Barney snapped.

"I suppose that, physically, I can tell you." Zaq conceded, "I just don't feel like explaining it twice." He turned to look at them, "Come on, hurry up."

* * *

Author notes

hehe, it's almost the exciting part!

And, by the way, I do love when you R&R *smiles shamelessly* lol


	7. Part Six

Looking down at the town far below, Melinda got a birds-eye view of the situation. It was one of the strangest things she'd ever seen, outside of her ghostly visions, of course. The streets, the town, the houses, all of it was perfectly normal, not a brick out of place. The only thing missing was the people.

The dangerous man would not speak, so he and Melinda flew in silence. It didn't matter, Melinda knew she would never have an experience like this ever again, and she had no need to spoil it with words. Even after an hour of flying far above the town, she still felt disappointed when the dangerous man brought her back down to the ground.

They landed in a clearing where Dizz, Zaq and Boo had stopped. As soon as the earth was near enough, Melinda jumped out of the dangerous man's arms. She thanked him curtly and then ran to the others. Dizz and Zaq were glowering distrustfully.

"You okay Ger?" Dizz asked, honestly concerned.

"I'm fine, I-" Melinda began, and then a realization struck her, "I'm Melinda."

"What?"

"My name," she said, "It's not Ger, it's Melinda." She smiled. Her name was Melinda, she could be herself, she was no longer a number.

Dizz beamed, "My name's Barney. He said, sighing happily. They both turned to Boo.

"I'm Penny," She said, and muttered, "I never thought I would say that again."

"What about you Zaq?" Melinda asked.

Zaq grinned, "Patrick," He replied, "Patrick Jane."

Boo bit her lip thoughtfully, "Okay, let me see if I have this right." She pointed to each of the people as she spoke, "Melinda, Barney, Patrick and..." She turned to indicate the dangerous man, who was leaning silently against a wall, "What's your name, sweetie?"

The dangerous man raised one of his thick eyebrows at Penny, "I can tell you one thing, it's not 'sweetie'."

"It's Sylar, isn't it?" Patrick asked, "I mean, the way you killed the robots," He traced a line with his finger, "That's how Sylar does it, and the superpowers would explain a lot of unanswered questions."

"And how," Sylar asked, "Would you know that?" Melinda gasped. Sylar had all but admitted to murdering dozens of people, and he had done so smiling.

Patrick's gaze never wavered from the man as he replied, "I used to work for the CBI, we did some investigating in your case." He stared at Sylar, an unreadable look on his face.

Barney gaped at Sylar, who was smirking, "You mean," He asked, "The serial killer?"

"Hey," Sylar snapped, "I'm not a serial killer."

"Holy Damn." Everyone, excluding Patrick, turned to look at Penny as she spoke, "That's... crazy. I can't believe..." She blinked several times out of shock.

"Yeah," Patrick agreed vaguely, then got to business, "I think we should probably get going. We need to hide out somewhere before the robots start looking for us." He turned his attention to Sylar, "Where did you say you were going again?"

"I didn't." The killer growled in response.

"Oh, yes. That's right. You did say you were going, though, right?"

Sylar glared at the other man with an intensity that made Melinda shudder and shift a little further away from the two. Much to Melinda's, and everyone else's, surprise Penny strode over to stand next to Sylar, and gave Patrick a pleading look.

"I don't care who Sylar is." She defended, "He saved all of our lives. We can't just ditch him, he's one of us."

By 'one of us' Penny meant human, rather than android. Still, when Melinda looked into the man's eyes, she saw something in there that wasn't quite human, something dark and foreboding.

Sylar smirked triumphantly, "She's right, Jane, you can't just ditch me."

Patrick's expression went blank, and he threw his hands up as if to say 'I give up'. Then he turned, and started walking away. Sylar cocked his head, amused, and tried to say something to Penny. However, the young girl simply shot him a nasty look, and ran over to walk next to Patrick. Sylar seemed intrigued by this turn of events, and after a few moments followed after the two.

Melinda looked up at Barney, shocked, "I can't believe we were all saved by a serial killer." She shuddered, "Oh, God. He was carrying me."

Barney gave an involuntary jerk in disgust, "Do you think he'll try to kill us?" he asked.

Melinda thought about that for a moment, afraid, " I don't think so," she replied, "Not after he went to all the trouble of saving us."

Melinda and Barney began to walk towards the others, who were a fair way ahead by now. As they did so, Melinda though she heard someone calling after them, and, turning around to see what was going on, she spotted a man in a red coat running towards her. She grabbed Barney, and said, "Look."

The man in the coat was wearing thick goggles over his eyes, so it was impossible to see his face properly as he panted, "It's not safe to walk around like this. You have to come with me."

* * *

Author notes

still getting to the interesting bits! I said there would be interesting shipping abound, and THAT is all coming up soon!


	8. Part Seven

The man in the red coat dragged Barney and Melinda into a nearby building. It was dark and dusty, but it was clear that this place had once been the lobby of a hotel. It was the kind that still used keys, not cards, and judging by their number, there couldn't have been more than twenty rooms in the place. Red-Coat looked around nervously and pulled a large, heavy-looking, metal device out from a ratty messenger bag, which he had been carrying on his shoulder.

"Um, are we going to get an explanation for the whole kidnapping thing," Barney asked, looking around in a manner very similar to what Red-Coat had just done, but more indignant than nervous.

Red Coat stuttered sheepishly, "Um, I, you... The robo-girls have heat sensors," he explained, pulling a lever on his device and setting it down, "I can counteract that with... this." He withdrew a remote control and pressed a button. Suddenly, the whole room was swathed in an expanding, holographic red grid.

"We have friends," Melinda tried to explain, flabbergasted, "Outside..."

"Oh, crap!" Red-Coat squeaked, and ran out.

Melinda turned her head over to look at Barney, a look Barney returned with equal perplexity. As far as he could tell, the pair of them had just been rescued by a brightly dressed man with some kind of zany gadget, who had then panicked for no reason and run away.

Before either of them could make sense of the situation, Red-Coat had returned, Jane, Penny and Sylar in tow.

"Okay, nobody can leave this building again or the robos can track us." The strange little man chirped, fidgeting as he surveyed the room and it's inhabitants, "Now everyone's here, right? That's... one, two, three... five of you. Wait, five? How did you all escape?"

"That's a good question." Jane stepped up to reply, "And I will explain everything in good time. The real question for now is; who are you, and how did you find us?"

Barney had to agree that those were good questions, questions it seemed Red-Coat had no objection to answering.

"I" he replied, adjusting his goggles and straightening up, trying to make himself seem impressive, "Am Doctor Horrible."

There was a brief, awkward silence as everyone present failed to even remotely recognize the man in the red coat.

"I'm a very famous super villain!" He insisted, but was met only with more silence, even after adding, "I'm part of the Evil League of Evil!"

After a pause, Sylar snorted contemptuously, "You're a cape, aren't you?"

Doctor Horrible seemed genuinely offended by the accusation, but Barney didn't have any idea what it meant.

"Did you just call him a cape?"

Sylar scowled, "A cape is someone who thinks that they need to dress up in a ridiculous outfit just because they develop superpowers," He indicated Doctor Horrible, "People like him."

"Unlike people like you, who think they need to kill people just because they develop superpowers." Jane pointed out with a snarl. Sylar pretended not to hear.

"In answer to your second question," The doctor went on, growing increasingly more irritated, "I can track people using their heat signatures. I actually tapped into the robo-satellite network, so everything they can do, I can do. That's how I found you. As soon as your heat signatures registered on my scanner, I teleported here to pick you up."

Jane nodded, "Alright, well, as for how we escaped, that was me."

Sylar shot him a look, so Jane begrudgingly added, "And him too, a little. You see, after studying the robots for a while, I noticed that different robots were being assigned to different tasks, and..."

"You can't tell them apart." Barney insisted.

"Please, no interruptions until after the lesson. Now, where was I?" Jane paused, "Ah, yes, it seemed the robots were working on a very rigid schedule. I familiarized myself with their routines and soon enough I noticed a pattern. Every day, a particular pair of robots were assigned to feed something in a locked room. By the next day, those robots were sporting some shiny new replacement parts..."

Sylar smirked.

"Something was damaging them, and I knew that if I could memorize the passcodes and lure the guards away from the door, I could use whatever is was to escape. And bring a few friends along as well."

"And so you used me as live bait to see what was in the room?" Barney wailed, "You gambled my life on that! I could have died!"

"Hey, hey, hey," Jane said, "I gambled my own life too. It wasn't really a gamble anyway, I was almost sure nothing bad would happen."

This dismissal was less than reassuring, so Jane added, "You didn't die did you?"

Penny rolled her eyes, "Sorry about him." She told Doctor Horrible, nodding towards Jane, "He's... well... different. So, my name's Penny." She held out her hand to shake, but the doctor didn't respond. As soon as she spoke her name, he looked at her with this haunted sort of look, as though she were a ghost.

"Well, um, anyway." Doctor Horrible said, shuffling away from the girl and averting his eyes, "The teleporter was a one way deal, so we're stuck here, but I picked a good location. This place used to be a Bed and Breakfast. I'll set up my equipment in the basement and you can... look around or something." Without another word or even a second glance, he dragged his bag into the next room. A seires of clunks sounded when he eventually made his way downstairs.

"That was strange." Melinda commented. Penny seemed less phased by the snub.

"Trust me, I've seen way stranger guys before. I used to know these four guys back in Pasadena, real freaks of nature. Especially this one guy, Sheldon-" She started giggling at a happy memory, but suddenly her countenance changed. Thinking about the past only made people sad. She hastily changed the subject, "Melinda! Let's pick rooms next to each other! Ooh! Let's go find a crib!" She led Melinda through a door which presumably led to the first-floor rooms. Sylar had since disappeared.

"I'm going to check if there's an attic." Jane announced, "If there is, I call it." He pointed at Barney, emphasizing his posession of the top room, before skipping up a set of quaint wooden stairs. Barney looked around the place as he followed suit, preferring a second story room and thinking about getting used to this new place. It was actually kind of nice to think that he would finally have somewhere to call home.


	9. Part Eight

_Boom, everything up in smoke. You'd better kill him before he kills you. I just want to tell him it's not his fault. When can we see our daughter? I shouldn't have ignored the signs. I'll murder the bastard with my own two hands. Please, he's confused, he needs help. There's nothing anyone can do to stop-_

Melinda woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in a cold sweat. The ghosts who had been absent at The Compound were back, and they all had something to say. Particularly about the man who killed them, a man who was living under this very roof right now. She shivered, half from fear and half from the cold on her bare skin. She had stripped out of her horrific prison clothes the minute she'd gotten to her room- they were now in the trash- and so she was sleeping in her underpants. Slipping out of bed, she tiptoed towards her bathroom and pinched the complimentary bathrobe.

As far as she could tell, it was somewhere around midnight, but there was no way she could get back to sleep after having those dreams. Instead, she decided to take a walk outside, taking care not to wake Penny, who was in the room directly across from her. Patrick had taken the attic, Doctor Horrible was in the basement and Barney had decided to take a room at the end of the hall upstairs, so there was no worry about waking them up.

Melinda walked into the lobby and took a seat on one of the waiting room chairs. Her hands fluttered over her abdomen and she smiled, but her peace was disturbed when a noise came from behind her and she started.

"Don't panic, it's just me." The voice belonged to Sylar, "What are you doing up anyway?"

"I was having nightmares." Melinda snapped accusingly, "But I feel better now, I'm going back to bed."

"You shouldn't be scared of me Melinda," He replied, "I know you have an ability, but I'm not going to kill you for it."

She stood up from her chair and turned to look at him, "What do you know about my gift?"

"Only that you have one." He was completely bathed in shadow, making Melinda wish the electricity worked so she could turn on a light.

"Well forgive me if I don't thank you for deciding to spare me." She hissed at him as she made to leave. Suddenly she stopped, held in place by an invisible hand. Sylar's footsteps indicated that he was coming closer, and soon he was whispering in her ear.

"I'm the superhuman killer, remember?" The sinister voice sent shivers down Melinda's spine, "You'd be smart to treat me better."

Melinda felt her heart race with fear as the mysterious force let her go, and when she turned around, Sylar was nowhere to be seen.

By the time she crawled back into bed, she was shaking.

* * *

Barney woke up from his first night of freedom to greet his first morning of freedom which, he reminded himself, would inevitably lead to his first day of freedom in his new home. He opened the curtains of his window to look happily out at the eerily empty street. Life was good.

His room had luggage in it, abandoned by some couple who were now who-knows-where. Ironically, the suitcase did not hold any suits, so he had to make due with some sweats and a t-shirt. At least they weren't white.

While sliding down the stairs, Barney couldn't help the skip in his step. He practically danced into the lobby, and from there followed the sound of voices into the hotel dining room.

"Good morning!" He announced brightly to Jane, Penny and Melinda, who were sitting around one of the tables. They were all dressed in whatever they could find; Jane was wearing pajamas, Penny was in men's clothing and Melinda had only a robe on. He barely noticed, however, because what really caught his attention was the food. Under any normal circumstances, he would have found the idea of eating cold chicken noodle soup straight out of the can a little revolting, but after months with nothing but vitamin-enriched powder cubes, Barney could have eaten anything.

"Oh my god Barney, eat this." Penny insisted, thrusting a can in his face, "It is literally the best thing I've ever tasted."

Barney greedily accepted, and was slurping down cold broth before his butt hit the seat. The taste was everything he could have ever dreamed of, he almost cried when the flavor filled his mouth. It tasted like coming home.

"Slow down, you'll make yourself sick." Jane cautioned. Barney reluctantly let the can slip from his lips and took some time to swallow.

"Where did you get this?" He asked.

"There's a pantry in the kitchen." Melinda explained, "This was pretty much the only thing that hadn't spoiled."

Barney listened to the words she said, but didn't look her in the eye. The robe she was wearing was doing an extremely poor job covering her cleavage. The tunics back at the Compound were very, very conservative, and he had almost forgotten what it looked like under there. Barney smiled. He turned to look at Penny, and his reaction was much the same. Penny, Barney could tell, was single, and her 'life breeding partner' wasn't exactly an ideal age for a girl as young as she was. Of course, Barney was a bit older than her too, but she still seemed like the kind of girl he could easily seduce. But first, he was going to finish his soup.

"I've been thinking about what we're going to do today." Jane said, "This place has been abandoned for however many months it's been and I'm sure it's crawling with snakes and rats and all sorts of unpleasant things."  
"Ew." Penny replied.

"You should have seen the mess those things made in the kitchen." He continued, "Now, I think we should pair off and start clearing out rooms. Check for vermin, obviously, and take anything we might be able to use. Clothes, batteries would be nice. Then we need to think about water. Hopefully-"

Jane suddenly stopped talking as one of the sealed cans shot into the air and out the door. He countenance changed immediately and he glowered at Penny.

"I want you to know that if it wasn't for you, that thing would be up up and far away from here by now. Now we're stuck with him, and that makes him your responsibility."

She gaped, hurt, "Excuse me for trying to keep Magneto on our side." She hissed.

At that moment, Doctor Horrible, who had taken off his goggles, walked in, "Hey, I overheard you guys talking about water, I think I can help." He said, but no one appeared to be listening. They all stared when he walked in the room, but Barney couldn't figure out why.

"Are you two brothers or something?" Penny asked.

"Who?" Barney replied.

"You and Doctor Horrible." Melinda clarified, "You two look exactly alike. Like twins or something."

"Do we?" The Doctor looked skeptical, "I don't think so."

"Really? Because the resemblance is uncanny." Jane put in.

"Hell, no. I'm taller." Barney insisted, "And those are not my eyes. His head isn't even the same shape as mine."

"And I have hair."

"That's super-weird." Penny whispered.

"Um, well, anyway." Doctor Horrible tried to get the conversation back on track, "About the water, there's a stream not too far from here, and there's a mall a few blocks down."

"I thought we couldn't leave the building." Melinda pointed out.

"Not without one of these," Doctor Horrible held up a wristband, "It will neutralize the heat in a twenty foot radius, but there are only two. When we go out, we'll split into two groups and everyone will need to keep close to whoever's wearing this." He paused, "I'm sorry, I don't know any of your names."

"Melinda."

"Barney."

"Patrick."

"Penny."

Doctor Horrible seemed to flush when she spoke. "Well, you can all call me Billy." He said, smiling shyly at Penny.

Jane grinned, "Alright, it looks like we're going shopping."

* * *

The necessities were the first priority. Patrick and Billy made sure to scour every store for non-perishable food, bottled water, soap, batteries, mouse traps and anything else they could think of, loading everything into multiple carts. The grocery store had been rough to deal with, the smell of rot and mold was strongest among forgotten meats and vegetables. The hard work, however, was done, and now Melinda and Penny could shop for whatever they wanted. Mostly, Melinda wanted clothes (maternity clothes, not just the sweats she'd found in some old man's drawer) and she wanted baby things. If her estimates were correct, it was sometime in July or August, and the book had said that her baby would be born September 25.

"It is impossible to just leave these clothes here." Penny said, bringing Melinda back to the real world, "I mean, they're all just waiting to be worn, and it's not like there's any price limit. It still kinda feels like stealing, like it's just not right taking them."

"I know what you mean. I thought walking around in an empty mall was creepy enough, I feel like we're in an episode of The Twilight Zone." Melinda agreed, not mentioning that every day of her life was almost as creepy as this.

Speaking of creepy, Melinda's gaze flashed towards the man who was standing alone about ten feet away. Patrick had made it very clear over breakfast that he wanted nothing to do with Sylar, ever, and that Penny had to be the one to put up with his existence. Still, Melinda didn't want to deal with him either, especially after their run in last night. She kept thinking about what he'd said, _I know you have an ability, but I'm not going to kill you for it ._ Could he kill her and take her power? If he knew what kind of power it was, she could bet he wouldn't want it.

* * *

Barney knew exactly what he wanted, nay, needed to have after his months of incarceration. He dragged Billy, who was wearing the bracelet, along behind him while Jane jogged to keep up. He wasn't sure where he was headed, but he knew what he was looking for.

"There's no hurry Barney." Jane insisted chuckling. Suddenly, Barney skidded to a halt.

It didn't really matter that they weren't tailored, or that they came from some regular old off-the-rack place in a mall. What mattered was that finally, Barney was going to be wearing a suit. As God had intended.

Soon, Barney was walking away wearing the most expensive suit he could find, and it was really doing the trick. The Barnacle was back.


End file.
